If you’re a Star Wars fan like we are here at JobLookup, then you’ll probably be looking forward to seeing The Rise of Skywalker, if you haven’t already.In honour of the iconic space opera drawing to a close, we’ve come up with a list of the best five jobs in the Star Wars galaxy.
Before we start, yes, we left out Jedi and smuggler, as almost everyone in their childhood wanted to be one or the other at some point. Or maybe it was because they’re just not quite as cool as bounty hunters. While we flee to the edge of the Outer Rim after making that comment, read on, and you might just find your perfect Star Wars career path.
First Order Janitor
Want to save the galaxy? Start cleaning latrines. It might sound like a humble and unrewarding task, but sanitising stormtrooper toilets could end up providing you with the fundamental inside knowledge needed to help the Resistance bring down a planet-sized superweapon. Does that sound farfetched? Some handy skills could include:
- Blaster training, because we all know what lurks in garbage disposal chutes.
- Close combat skills. See above (also useful for beating the hell out of your previous manager when you swap sides and blow up your former workplace).
- A complete disregard for your former workplace.
- Being a team player. That means not removing your stormtrooper helmet, even after watching your teammates gun down innocent civilians, and certainly not helping captured Resistance pilots escape.
- Being prone to extreme panic in most situations.
If you want to lord it over your very own desert palace full of misfits, eat live lizards out of a jar, and decorate the place with frozen smugglers, then this is the job for you.
You’ll also probably enjoy collecting exotic wildlife, then feeding your enemies/employees to them in a flagrant disregard for proper HR practices. Not just anyone can be an intergalactic crimelord of course. To succeed in this role you’ll need to be:
- Morally flexible
- Able to manage employees using the threat of digestion in a centuries-old sandworm as a deterrent for unsanctioned days off.
- Comfortable with creating a bone strewn death pit beneath your throne room, along with the related workplace hygiene challenges keeping a Rancor brings.
- Able to resist Jedi mind tricks.
- A massive, repugnant space slug with a penchant for human women in space bikinis.
Reprogrammed Imperial Droid
A life of servitude the Empire is certainly admirable, but you could be so much more! This role offers you a free memory wipe, along with the chance to be reprogrammed into helping rebel scum, which may lead to throwing hand grenades/shooting at your former employers.
Once freed, you can enjoy exciting new prospects like: Piloting the ship while humans argue. Staying with the ship while humans argue. Saving humans multiple times while the humans argue. To succeed, you’ll need:
- To enjoy repeating unfavourable odds of survival in high-pressure situations.
- A soft spot for meatbags, which you keep close to your chest until your final moments buying said meatbags more time so they can steal the Death Star plans. Probably while arguing.
If you love to travel, have a good head for negotiation, and enjoy kidnapping, assassination and jetpacks, then read on. Being a bounty hunter means you’ll be tracking down some of the galaxies most wanted – usually either smart-mouthed smugglers or peace-loving senators. You’ll need to have a particular dislike for Jedi, as well as enjoy working for extremely demanding clients with a megalomaniacal persuasion. You should also be:
- Happy with your genetic material being used to create a clone army, which will subsequently be mobilised to subjugate the galaxy.
- A lover of gadgets, especially poisonous darts, mini flamethrowers, and whipcords.
- Family-oriented, so you can raise your clone son to follow in your footsteps by subjecting him to a variety of potentially lethal and hellishly traumatic encounters – all but ensuring he follows in your footsteps.
- Not scared of decapitation by lightsaber/death by Sarlacc.
Do you crave absolute power over all things? Do you enjoy watching your underlings grovel in fear while using underhanded, slimy tactics to beat your opposition? If so, then the role of Dominic Cummings.. sorry, Sith Lord, could be right up your asteroid belt.
Career progression is all but guaranteed, as you’ll simply kill or seriously maim anyone/anything who gets in your way to the top (or bottom, depending on your view of the Force). All you’ll need is the following:
- Force sensitivity.
- An unending well of pure, incandescent rage.
- A cool mask (flowing black robe optional).